• Jasi

No Validation Needed

Before I begin, I must say not every blog written is about a personal experience. My platform discusses an array of topics. Today’s topic came from every woman’s place to vent, “THE HAIRSALON”. Let me tell you, I’m sure there are many men who wish they could be a fly on the wall in every hair salon and nail salon from here to Canada! Now that I have a son and I am a single mother, I also spend time in the barbershop, occasionally. Let’s be clear, the men cut up way more than the ladies! 

Recently the ladies, well one specific lady, was taking about a “situationship” or in my opinion an “entanglement“, she had unexpectedly fallen into. For those of you who don’t know what a “situationship” is, it is basically a no strings attached relationship; a situation. Situations can get ugly and are unhealthy mentally, emotionally and in some

cases psychologically long term. Imagine an “it’s complicated” relationship status on Facebook. 

There are some people who prefer “no strings attached” relationships. If this is you and it works for you, I wish you all the happiness. This particular lady wasn’t happy. I sat in silence for a while because my transparency may come across as rude to some, however, most appreciate it.

Key factors she mentioned that were bringing her down emotionally and mentally were:

-feeling like a number in his Rolodex 

-days without calls or even a are you still alive text

-she felt like she wasn’t good enough (oh hell no)

-putting her life on hold to be monogamous but was unsure if he actually was (blank stare)

-her actually telling him how certain behaviors made her unhappy 

-being limited to time spent together

She went on about how much he tells her he cares about her, don’t want to

lose her (blah, blah, blah) and how she’s fallen for him. Then she me in the eyes and asked me what did I think and how would I personally approach the situation. Of course, my beautician said

“Jasi invented the “exit interview”. She threw me to the wolves but I was ready.

Game face on! I simply asked her “How does he make you FEEL?” ONE QUESTION! She just wept. I replied, “Sis that’s your answer. Yes he may care about you but you’re merely a

convenience. He doesn’t talk about the future, he doesn’t change his behaviors when you mention your feelings, and is emotionally unavailable. He may care about you but he doesn’t value you nor respect you” BOOM! 

I told her an exit interview isn’t needed but more self love is. Women are natural born nurturers. We are molded to put our feelings on the back burner to care for others. The hardest part is admitting you’re accepting less than you deserve and walking away. We complain and cry instead of taking action because then we have to take accountability. Instead of seeking validation, seek self love.


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